I know that I generally talk about my life as if it were the worst thing to happen. As if I hate every fiber of my being. I do, but there are moments of brief experiences of pure emotion that emulate a "good life". Brief moments of pure existence accentuated through external stimulus. Stimulus that goes along the lines of talking, watching, being and interacting with other kindled "souls" who are compassionate and empathetic despite their circumstances. It instills something in you. Something that makes you want to live on into the next day, with the assurance that not everything in life is bitter.
They are the moments that lull the stormy torment of my mind. They are the ones that validate meaning in life. They are the ones that make you want to fight for meaning in life.
They are scarce, found in the most unexpected of places, visible only to the seeking eye; which invigorate you with pure emotion, making you feel alive, such that you are left feeling glad that you were alive to witness them. Though I say it with such grandeur, they are not grand, they are not phenomenal. They are simple, pure and touching. The last one being the most important of all.
In my life, these are the moments.....
-Looking at the face of the person I love. The very existence of the person, the meaning that faces invokes in me, makes available a surge of energy, a fire, that enables me to break free from my chains and rise with the occasion. There is no real exchange of energy happening. Just having that face in front of me, what it means to me, creates a feeling so strong and pure that it almost seems real.
-The old lady who comes to clean the building I stay in. She comes everyday, whether it's hot, cold or "sick". She leaves her chappal outside the building. She cleans every floor. She takes out everyone's garbage.
From the first day w met, she never drops an opportunity to have a little chat and to ask how I'm doing, even though our relationship begins and ends on the veranda outside my room; our own spot where we have our little chats. From our "little chats" I've come to learn that her circumstances aren't in any way pleasant. Hell, they are unfair. Yet, I've seen her express only emotions so far - a bright smile that lights up every inch of her face, and tear filled eyes followed by a crackling voice. The later, occurred only twice, when she was weeping for her children. Otherwise, her face is brighter than a sunflower, despite her dark skin tone.
When she comes around, my mind calms down. It forgets about all it's worries, because my mind itself knows they can wait until we've said our goodbyes.
-Standing on the terrace, watching the world zoom by under my feet (or so to speak), unaware of my presence looking down on them. It shows me how big the world really is. Take the number of livings things in the world, multiply it by the number of worlds in each of these minds; that's how big the world really is. Compared to that I am not even a fraction. I'm a decimal. Insignificant by sheer number itself, forget everything else. It tells me I'm not the only lonely one around. There are millions more, and some of them don't even know it. It calms the tides of despair in my head.
The most beautiful things to experience, that are available, are present among us, they are present in us. But, we all have taken human contact and interaction so much for granted that we've forgotten how to appreciate them. Everyone of us, even me. But that is just an after-thought.
These are my moments of peace, strength and tranquility. They are vibrant, strong and generate from within. Nonetheless, they are moments. Random, spaced out, short-lived.
After all, they are just lulls in the storm.
They are the moments that lull the stormy torment of my mind. They are the ones that validate meaning in life. They are the ones that make you want to fight for meaning in life.
They are scarce, found in the most unexpected of places, visible only to the seeking eye; which invigorate you with pure emotion, making you feel alive, such that you are left feeling glad that you were alive to witness them. Though I say it with such grandeur, they are not grand, they are not phenomenal. They are simple, pure and touching. The last one being the most important of all.
In my life, these are the moments.....
-Looking at the face of the person I love. The very existence of the person, the meaning that faces invokes in me, makes available a surge of energy, a fire, that enables me to break free from my chains and rise with the occasion. There is no real exchange of energy happening. Just having that face in front of me, what it means to me, creates a feeling so strong and pure that it almost seems real.
-The old lady who comes to clean the building I stay in. She comes everyday, whether it's hot, cold or "sick". She leaves her chappal outside the building. She cleans every floor. She takes out everyone's garbage.
From the first day w met, she never drops an opportunity to have a little chat and to ask how I'm doing, even though our relationship begins and ends on the veranda outside my room; our own spot where we have our little chats. From our "little chats" I've come to learn that her circumstances aren't in any way pleasant. Hell, they are unfair. Yet, I've seen her express only emotions so far - a bright smile that lights up every inch of her face, and tear filled eyes followed by a crackling voice. The later, occurred only twice, when she was weeping for her children. Otherwise, her face is brighter than a sunflower, despite her dark skin tone.
When she comes around, my mind calms down. It forgets about all it's worries, because my mind itself knows they can wait until we've said our goodbyes.
-Standing on the terrace, watching the world zoom by under my feet (or so to speak), unaware of my presence looking down on them. It shows me how big the world really is. Take the number of livings things in the world, multiply it by the number of worlds in each of these minds; that's how big the world really is. Compared to that I am not even a fraction. I'm a decimal. Insignificant by sheer number itself, forget everything else. It tells me I'm not the only lonely one around. There are millions more, and some of them don't even know it. It calms the tides of despair in my head.
The most beautiful things to experience, that are available, are present among us, they are present in us. But, we all have taken human contact and interaction so much for granted that we've forgotten how to appreciate them. Everyone of us, even me. But that is just an after-thought.
These are my moments of peace, strength and tranquility. They are vibrant, strong and generate from within. Nonetheless, they are moments. Random, spaced out, short-lived.
After all, they are just lulls in the storm.
