It's fucked up. It's all so fucked up.
Vision has become a passive tool now. Used only to navigate and blend through crowds. Colors have faded out of focus, leaving a barren topography of the world for me to stare at.
It's seems so unreal. As if I'm locked up inside a large hall, sitting alone amidst endless rows of chairs, while images of my life endlessly flash on the giant screen. My eyes are glued to the screen, but nothing stimulates a response.
A giant clock laboriously ticks to acknowledge the passing time, as new images keep pouring onto the screen, forever repainting the canvas, forever stealing the focus of my eyes. My mind is lost in thoughts of worlds that will never exist. Simply because they are figments of my imagination and wishful thinking. Worlds that stimulate positive emotions, making me unused to the bitter taste of reality.
What does that say about me? Doesn't that mean I'm delusional?
I don't know, but it has made me a prisoner of my mind.
The stench of this prison is bearing down on me, spurning fatalistic speeches about life, misery and the meaning of existence. Hoping that such ramblings will result in necessary catharsis.
Without a meaning for life you cannot go on living. You need it to build a purpose, a future and finally a meaningful life. I recently lost mine. I'm looking for a new one.
My eyes are scanning the world for that something. Something that just might ignite color back into my world. Restore the will to survive, and continue to provide fuel for future times. Is there such a thing out there?
Will I catch it before it disappears for good?
All unanswerable questions. Endlessly surfacing from the depths of my mind.
That is just one part of this bizarre mind-space. Though, one that has all my attention these days. Daily life has become a redundant obligation. Soon I could be mistaken for a walking zombie.
A frenzy of images still flood the screen. It has never stopped.
It gets worse during sleep and dreams. There is nothing telling me - "It isn't real".
Vision has become a passive tool now. Used only to navigate and blend through crowds. Colors have faded out of focus, leaving a barren topography of the world for me to stare at.
It's seems so unreal. As if I'm locked up inside a large hall, sitting alone amidst endless rows of chairs, while images of my life endlessly flash on the giant screen. My eyes are glued to the screen, but nothing stimulates a response.
A giant clock laboriously ticks to acknowledge the passing time, as new images keep pouring onto the screen, forever repainting the canvas, forever stealing the focus of my eyes. My mind is lost in thoughts of worlds that will never exist. Simply because they are figments of my imagination and wishful thinking. Worlds that stimulate positive emotions, making me unused to the bitter taste of reality.
What does that say about me? Doesn't that mean I'm delusional?
I don't know, but it has made me a prisoner of my mind.
The stench of this prison is bearing down on me, spurning fatalistic speeches about life, misery and the meaning of existence. Hoping that such ramblings will result in necessary catharsis.
Without a meaning for life you cannot go on living. You need it to build a purpose, a future and finally a meaningful life. I recently lost mine. I'm looking for a new one.
My eyes are scanning the world for that something. Something that just might ignite color back into my world. Restore the will to survive, and continue to provide fuel for future times. Is there such a thing out there?
Will I catch it before it disappears for good?
All unanswerable questions. Endlessly surfacing from the depths of my mind.
That is just one part of this bizarre mind-space. Though, one that has all my attention these days. Daily life has become a redundant obligation. Soon I could be mistaken for a walking zombie.
A frenzy of images still flood the screen. It has never stopped.
It gets worse during sleep and dreams. There is nothing telling me - "It isn't real".
